A review of “The Bride!” (2026)
Acting is a bit embarrassing, isn’t it? Some roles moreso than others, but at the heart of it there are always adults behaving a bit absurd, a bit silly. But when we choose to watch a movie, we sign an invisible contract, that we will accept their simulacrum of reality. Even if subconsciously, we know that the person yelling nonsense or writhing on the ground was paid money to do that and they did it shamelessly in a room full of people who are behaving completely normally. All of that to say, that tolerance of Jesse Buckley’s bold, eccentric, and fully committed performance comes down to how much we too commit to the contract. Early on, that foundational embarrassment can seep in – „Jesse, you are a grown woman. Have some self-respect!“ – but for those that can embrace the maniacal, the journey can be worthwhile.
The groom for the titular Bride is Frankenstein (Christian Bale) in this invented sequel to Mary Shelley’s novel that takes place in 1930s America. What may seem a straightforward description betrays the nature of Maggie Gyllenhaal’s second directorial effort. There is just a lot going on: lots of guns, supernatural dance numbers, a half-dozen movie theatre visits. All which could technically be explained and described, but to do so would be a disservice to the experience. Even the revelations presented immediately in the first minute – though not even hinted at in the trailers – are best left unspoiled. “The Bride!” isn’t incoherent, though, but attempting to predict the next scene either in content or tone based on what you have seen up until that point is an act of futility. The best comparison would be to Francis Ford Coppola’s “Megalopolis”. (Though I worry that making that comparison will make this movie seem worse than it is.)
The reanimated corpses aspect of the film is surprisingly insignificant. The point is that the couple are outcasts of society, shunned. At the same time, Frank is enamored by the black and white elegance of CINEMA and desires to be accepted. In fact, the 1930s aesthetic seems there just so the movie can toss around references to Ginger Rogers, have tap-dancing in a tuxedo, and do a “Bonnie & Clyde” homage.
“The Bride!” has the overall vibe of a rebellious teenage girl’s fanfiction. It takes delight in its own perceived cleverness. For example, the Bride has a vocal-tic making her spout free-associative wordplay. (Genuinely clever at times.) Characters referencing facts about the original “Frankenstein” novel, which main purpose seems to be to let the audience know the writer has read the novel. A minor character says that their son’s name is Clyde in case the visual homage to the classic outlaw story were too subtle. And call covered in a layer of melodrama and persistent horniness. All the same, it is an idiosyncratic vibe. A fanfiction-based movie is not unprecedented. “Fifty Shades of Gray” is a fanfiction of “Twilight”. (Though I worry that making that comparison will make this movie seem worse than it is.)
The chaos is not without some cohesion. The movie is tied together with female empowerment. A lot of it is loud and in your face like Buckley’s character herself. One of her dramatic speeches literally ends with the phrase “me too.” Repeated twice, just in case you missed it. It was amusing to see Louis Cancelmi (Read: Cancel Me) show up. The most notable aspect is the Bride’s sort-of catchphrase. When told to do something, she refuses by saying “I would prefer not to”. A rejection and moment of self-actualization that is still coded in the politeness and servility that society expects of women. A thought-provoking choice. I’ll stop myself from mansplaining and leave it to feminist scholars to dive deeper on that.
Ultimately, “The Bride!” is stitched together from various parts that don’t seem to properly fit together. Still, it’s alive! And while some may raise pitchforks and torches against it, there is beauty beneath the surface for those who can see it.
Final Verdict: 8 out of 12 tongues in a jar
Directed and Written by: Maggie Gyllenhaal
Starring: Jesse Buckley, Christian Bale, Penelope Cruz, Peter Sarsgaard, Annette Bening
AWholeCroissant 